It is very difficult to stop the cycle of abuse. Most victims are frightened enough by the numerous threats they have received by their abuser to just stay in the relationship. That is why the cycle of abuse continues with their children either becoming an abuser or becoming the next victim. Stop the cycle. Go into every relationship with open minds and wide open eyes.
If you recognize any of the characteristics in the following list as something your partner is exhibiting, you are more than likely involved with an abuser. Be careful and protect yourself by safety planning. Call our Hotline for help or just to talk about the situation @ 706-375-7630.
Blames Others For Problems
Blames Others For Feelings
Disrespectful or Cruel
Expects Control During Sex
Rigid Sex Roles
Dr. Jekyll & Mr. Hyde
Breaking or Striking Objects
Any Force During An Argument
Living together or engaged after just 6 months; Are told that you are the only one that can ever make him happy; Pressures you for a commitment before you are ready.
Compliments you in a way that makes you seem superhuman; Too dependent on you for all his needs; Expects you to be perfect; Says he is all you need to be happy.
Advises you on how to dress; Pretends to be concerned for your safety in order to keep you near him; Acts like you don't have the ability to make good decisions; Becomes extremely worried or angry when you are late; Questions who you spend your time with and wants details of what was said, where you went, etc.; Insist that you check in with him constantly; Monitors your phone/email/text messages; Watches the mileage on the car; Makes you ask his permission to do certain things.
Wants to be with you constantly, even when you have other things to do like school or work; Accuses you of cheating all the time; Follows you around; Calls you frequently throughout the day; Checks your car mileage or GPS system; Has friends check on you for him; Checks your phone.
Puts down all your friends and/or family; Tries to cut into or off your contact with others; Accuses you of cheating while you are with family or friends; Says your friends/family don't really love you or are trying to control you or they don't love you as much as he loves you; Tell you family/friends don't have your best interest at heart, they are using you; Refuses to let you use the car or phone without permission; Makes it hard for you to go to work or school.
Problems at work or school are always someone else's fault; You are at fault for everything that goes wrong with the relationship; "someone else" causes thing to go wrong in his life.
You are responsible for how he feels; You made me mad; You are hurting me by not doing what I asked; You make me happy.
Easily insulted; Everything is a personal attack on him; Has tantrums about the injustices done to him; Goes berserk about small irritations; Looks for fights; Blows things out of proportion.
Punishes animals/children cruelly; Insensitive to pain and suffering; High expectations of children, beyond their abilities; Teases children or younger sibling(s) until they cry; Treats people with disrespect.
Little concern over whether you want sex or not; Uses sulking or anger to manipulate you into compliance; Makes sexual or degrading jokes about you.
Believes women are inferior to men; Unable to be a whole person without a relationship.
Sudden mood changes; Feel like you need to walk on egg shells.
Hear him brag about past harassment of exes; Hear him deny past abuse by saying it was a lie or their ex was crazy.
Breaks cherished possessions of yours; Beats on table with hands; Throws objects near/at/around you; Strikes door/wall near you.
Physically restrains you from leaving room; Pushes or shoves you; Chokes you.